• (We're doing the distributive property, and we've gotten to 2x^2 + 5x.)
  • Student 1: Can't we combine those to make 7x^3?
  • Student 2: No, it's 7x^2.
  • Me: Did you guys talk about like terms last year?
  • Students: Oh yeah! Are these not like terms?
  • Me: Right. They've got different exponents, so they're not like terms and you can't combine them.
  • Student 3: Can't we still add the 2 and the 5 though?
  • Me: Since the x^2 and the x don't talk to each other, their friends don't talk to each other either.
  • Student 4: It's like Romeo and Juliet!
  • Me: Yes! It's exactly like Romeo and Juliet--They don't talk to each other, and if you try to make them, PEOPLE DIE.


President Obama Controlled By Parasites

An unassuming single-celled organism called Liboplasma golfii is one of the most insidious parasites on Earth and scientists report that President Obama appears to be infected. One reason for Liboplasma’s success is its ability to manipulate and influence the behavior of its hosts. Scientists discovered the mind control ability of the parasite in the 1990’s, but have not been able to determine how they manage to do it. Now a new study suggests that Liboplasma can turn its host’s genes on and off.

People infected with the parasite exhibit the following characteristics:
• A grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)

• Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people

• Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her wishes

• Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends

• Interpreting the actions of others as deliberately threatening or demeaning

• Oversensitivity to criticism

• Tendency to be naive and to fantasize about the world

• Inability to make decisions and avoidance of responsibilities by acting passive and helpless

No specific treatment for the parasite is yet available. Scientists report that infection can only occur from eating improperly cooked dog meat. As a rule of thumb, dog meat should be cooked until the internal temperature reaches 165°F. Using a good digital cooking thermometer is suggested.

This is the most hilarious shit I’ve seen in WEEKS.






Men still have trouble recognizing that a woman can be complex, can have ambition, good looks, sexuality, erudition and common sense. A woman can have all those facets, and yet men, in literature and in drama, seem to need to simplify women, to polarize us as either the whore or the angel. Natalie Dormer

I wish she’d be my whore…with all those traits she mentioned, my whore when we are alone!


Nope, I think I’m perfectly on point, I love a woman that’s multifaceted, someone who I can engage with and who doesn’t need me around 24/7 but is her own person.

Someone who challenges me to be better, to think quicker, to be more in control of myself and be better for her. Someone who will effect keep me on my toes because she knows what she wants and is more capable than me at getting it because she’s all the things I’m not! Because she is complex and part of getting to know her and to falling in love with her is understanding that, I think someone that she describes is amazing, and part of why Black Widow works so well in the Marvel films, or why her character in GoT is so appealing, someone to scheme with would be great!

But when it’s that time I’d also love her to know how to switch it all off and be what I need in the sack…that’s what I’d call perfect.

I think you’re just being an ass and you confrontational self :) I’m sorry though, I have no ‘witty’ picture of someone on a high horse.

Wow we’re just jumping straight on the ad hominem we’re not even bothering with pretense this time, okay.

Here’s the thing. You are still, in your long and exceptionally self-gratifying post, missing the point. The thing is- and I know this is gonna be a huge shock so maybe hold onto something for balance- that post had absolutely NOTHING to do with your preference for women. None. In fact, the entire point of the quote is how Natalie Dormer does not want to be reduced to an easy package for public consumption. And then you come along and say “I want to consume her.” You project a sexuality onto her that is utterly inappropriate, especially given the nature of what she’s saying. You literally say “I want her to be MY whore,” assuming some weird ownership of a human being literally being quoted as saying “I don’t want men to see me as a whore,” and say “she’ll be a whore for ME.” 

And I get it, you like ~~complex~~ whores, so it’s different, she’s allowed to be her own person, until of course you need a good fuck, at which point you want her to “be what you need in the sack.” (Just fyi, but that sounds eerily like the description of a Manic Pixie, which is another trope used to objectify and simplify women)

You took something about the nature of how men view her, and proved her own point; because in the end, all that your post was about was her gratifying you sexually. Considering you like to project an image of being a Good Feminist, I’m surprised this needs explanation. 

I also love how you’ve been friendly to me and even liked my selfies in the past, but now I’m an “ass.” It’s funny, it’s almost as if my calling out entitled, ignorant twenty-to-thirty-something men has made me less palatable for their consumption.

Have a witty picture. <3